How to Never Run Out of Things to Say in Conversations

The Mindset Shift: Curiosity Over Performance

The biggest mistake people make is trying to be interesting instead of being interested. When you focus on entertaining others, you put pressure on yourself to perform. When you focus on genuine curiosity about the other person, conversation flows naturally.

Great conversationalists aren't people who always have clever things to say—they're people who make others feel heard and valued. Shift your goal from "I need to say something impressive" to "I want to understand this person better."

Technique 1: Thread Pulling

Every statement someone makes contains multiple "threads" you can pull on. A thread is a detail, topic, or implication that can be explored further.

For example, if someone says: "I just got back from a trip to Japan last week."

The threads you could pull:

• The trip itself: "What was the highlight of the trip?"
• Japan specifically: "What surprised you most about Japan?"
• The timing: "A trip right at the start of the year—was this a special occasion?"
• Travel in general: "Are you someone who travels a lot, or was this a bucket list thing?"

Practice identifying threads in every statement. Once you develop this habit, you'll always have somewhere to take the conversation.

Technique 2: The Expansion Questions

When you need to deepen a conversation, use these question types:

• "What was that like?" — Invites emotional or experiential detail
• "How did you get into that?" — Asks for backstory and motivation
• "What do you enjoy most about it?" — Reveals values and passions
• "What was the hardest part?" — Shows you value their journey
• "What would you recommend for someone starting out?" — Positions them as expert

These open-ended questions give people room to share meaningful content—and that content contains new threads to explore.

Technique 3: Share, Then Return

Good conversation is a balance of listening and contributing. After the other person shares something, add your own related thought or experience, then return attention to them.

The pattern:

1. Listen actively and respond to what they said
2. Share a related thought, story, or opinion of your own
3. End with a question or opening that invites them back in

Example: "That's fascinating about your trip to Japan. I've always wanted to go—I'm really into Japanese architecture. Did you visit any temples or historical sites?"

Technique 4: The Observe-Think-Share Method

When you truly have nothing to say, use this method:

1. Observe: Look around. What do you notice about the environment, the event, the other person?
2. Think: What thoughts or questions does that observation spark?
3. Share: Voice that thought or question.

This works anywhere: "I noticed they have an incredible art collection here—do you know anything about the artist?" or "This coffee is really good. Are you someone who notices the difference between good and bad coffee?"

Technique 5: Topics in Your Back Pocket

Prepare a mental list of go-to topics you can discuss with almost anyone:

• What they're currently working on or excited about
• Travel and places they've been or want to go
• Recent shows, movies, books, or podcasts
• Food and restaurants
• How they know the host (at events)
• Weekend plans or recent experiences
• Current events (non-controversial)

You don't need to memorize questions—just having these categories in mind ensures you're never truly stuck.

What to Do When Silence Happens

First, accept that silences are normal and not failures. Not every moment needs to be filled with words. Brief pauses are comfortable and natural.

If you want to restart conversation after a pause:

• Return to something mentioned earlier: "Actually, going back to what you said about X..."
• Comment on something you observe: "This is such a great space..."
• Offer a new topic honestly: "So, totally different topic—have you watched anything good lately?"
• Ask about the future: "So what are you looking forward to this month?"

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I never run out of things to say?

To never run out of things to say: 1) Use the "thread pulling" technique—pick up on details and ask follow-up questions, 2) Share related stories of your own after listening, 3) Use open-ended questions that invite elaboration, 4) Comment on your shared environment, 5) Practice the "observe, think, share" method to always have something to contribute. The key is curiosity about others rather than trying to be interesting yourself.

What should I talk about when conversation dies?

When conversation dies, try these approaches: Ask about their opinions ("What do you think about..."), bring up current events or shared interests, use the environment around you for topics, ask about their weekend plans or recent experiences, or revisit something they mentioned earlier with a follow-up question. Silences are also natural—don't panic. Sometimes a brief pause is fine before a new topic emerges.

How do I get better at small talk?

Getting better at small talk requires practice and the right mindset. Focus on being genuinely curious rather than impressive. Prepare a mental list of universal topics (travel, food, current events, weekend plans). Practice the thread-pulling technique to deepen surface-level exchanges. Most importantly, remember that small talk is just the gateway to deeper connection—it doesn't need to be profound.

What app can help me practice conversations?

Social Sage is an AI-powered app that lets you practice conversations in dozens of scenarios—from casual small talk to job interviews to difficult discussions. You get real-time feedback and coaching to improve your conversation skills in a judgment-free environment.